Aries: Your sexual conquest markers are a flop
Cancer (6/22-7/22) — After bragging to your office that you resemble Elvis Presley and could make a fortune as an impersonator, you’ll be laughed at and ridiculed. Over the next several months you’ll...
View ArticleAries: Bananas would work
Cancer (6/22-7/22) — You have always been popular among your friends, but at a recent party you spent a great deal of time alone on the couch. It seems word spread that you were the only person among...
View ArticleAries: Is Gonzo a Moonie?
Leo (7/23-8/22) — Fed up with the state’s policy on solar power, you’ll run a spirited write-in campaign to run for Public Service Commission. As the campaign gains momentum, you’ll be seemingly...
View ArticleAquarius: The most important convo of your life awaits
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — Inspired by Mobile County Circuit Court Judge James Patterson, you’ll try to settle all future arguments with your significant other through children’s games. Forgot to take out the...
View ArticleScorpio: Now that’s a rainy day fund!
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — You are all set for the big college football, five-day Labor Day Weekend of games. Chips, beer, hot dogs, other assorted snacks and drinks, as well as an updated TV schedule of...
View ArticleScorpio: Don’t forget the Aston Martin that was parked in there!
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — In search of a new hobby, you buy a virtual reality headset so you can experience other places and activities from the comfort of your home. Unfortunately, the experience is a bit...
View ArticleLibra: Watch the dumb questions
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — Making your way downtown, you will come to a screeching halt with everyone else outside the Bankhead Tunnel. Getting to work late is no longer an excuse in Mobile. Every company in...
View ArticleGemini: You will live this week again
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — This weekend, you finally decide now is the perfect time to do what you have been putting off for weeks: bathing your cat. You’ll spend 15 minutes trying to corral your furry friend...
View ArticleGemini: Bird fears have you shaken
Libra (9/23-10/22) — You write a letter to the Navy asking them to sell the USS Enterprise to you instead of dismantling it. People would love to cruise around the Gulf on a decommissioned, kinda...
View ArticleGemini: Two important words will shape your future
Libra (9/23-10/22) — The 12-foot-tall skeletons emerging from the shadows onto front yards all over town have you concerned. Will they take the Bankhead Tunnel out of town on Nov. 1? Scorpio...
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